I am basically McGruff. If you don't know who McGruff is, you should be ashamed of yourself.

I fought crime today. Really. I did.

I was standing in the RER (Paris's rapid subway line) and this guy was jostling me. This is not strange because guys are always jostling in the Metro. He was really giving me trouble though. I was trying to move out of the way so this girl could get off and this guy basically blocked me and pushed me forward into her so she couldn't really get off. I was trying to frantically to move out of her way because I know what it's like to be trying to get off the subway and not be able to get through to the door, but this guy kept pushing me. I tried to move but I felt a tug on my bag, I figured his bag was stuck on my bag or something. Keep in mind that last night I ended up in my friend's room, the only non-Russian person there, playing cards til 4 AM, and sleeping on Julia's floor in a sleeping bag. I was kind of in a haze. So this guy pushed me and then squished past me and got off the train. I'm not quite sure how my brain put all of this together in that state, but the tugging feeling on my bag and the flash of green as he got off the train (my wallet is green) prompted me to look in my purse. Which was wallet-less. I freaked out for a second, and a few things went through my head very quickly.

1. Resignation. "Crap, this guy took my wallet and now he's gone and now I have to replace everything in it."
2. Laziness. "I really do not want to go through all of that hassle."
3. Indignation. "Why should I have to go through such a frustrating process just because some jerk thought it was okay to practice his less-than-refined pickpocketing skills on me?"

Some stupid adrenaline-filled part of my brain took over, and before I knew what I was doing I pushed through people (shouting "Excuse me" because I was too freaked out by what I was doing to remember French), made it out of the train before the doors closed, and chased the man. I literally just ran after this man as if chasing criminals is part of my daily schedule. Now I realize that chasing down the man who stole your wallet is potentially a bad idea, but this guy was pretty harmless. Anyway I just ran after him, and he didn't realize that I'd seen him and followed him, so he was just walking. So before he got on the escalator, I stopped him. I was in this weird, sleep-deprived, adrenaline-charged alternate reality where I chase criminals, and I just said to him, in English, almost yelling, very quickly, "EXCUSEMECANIPLEASEHAVEMYWALLETBACK." I think yelling in English confused him because he was just like, "Huh...." and I saw that he had it under his arm and was trying (badly) to hide it under a newspaper so I just grabbed it and gave him a look and walked away. I was surprised that he just gave it up so easily but looking back on it, I must have looked kind of insane because my hair was a mess and I was really angry, and the police are pretty easy to access in Paris. I'm guessing he was just relieved that I didn't try to call the po-po. I should have. Woulda served him right.

Anyway then I had to wait for the next train and I was all pumped up with adrenaline (which I'm not used to outside of anaphylactic episodes) and I was shaking and freaking out, even though it was a pretty unremarkable moment, not scary or anything. But the adrenaline that had allowed me to make the uncharacteristic decision to chase this man (I don't even make them take back my food at restaurants when they bring me the wrong thing) was still in my system and it just all felt very weird.

Afterwards Erin came over and we went to our tutor meeting at the school where we work and along with Julia tried to plan our next event, but of course almost none of the other tutors wanted to listen to us or cooperate or help, so it just ended up being very frustrating. But our boss did request that we re-enact the theft and recovery of my wallet. Ashley and some other girl played the train doors, Vaune played the girl trying to get out of the train, and Julia played the thief. I played me. It was pretty funny.

Just some things

I've been productive today/recently. Here are some things that have been going with me.

1. My good friend Mary, who is a senior this year but applied to Tulane and Loyola for law school, will probably stay in New Orleans next year and maybe we will live in this apartment. With a cat. Purr.

2. I interviewed for the job in Philly. Haven't heard anything yet. Probably won't for a while. If I don't get it, I may only spend June at home (and in Philly, to visit) and then go to New Orleans in July and move in and find a job (Whole Foods, anyone?).

3. I might do the French Department's 4+1 Masters program. I would really like a) to have a Masters degree at the age of 21 and b) to live in New Orleans some more and experience Tulane some more. What with the hurricane and the year abroad, I feel a little cheated of my New Orleans Dream. Thoughts?

4. I just bought a one-way ticket to Dublin. I'm gonna try to do Ireland then England (specifically Brighton) then Scotland (specifically St. Andrews to see Kathryn N) at the end of April/beginning of May. In regards to this, I took time off from my job and also gave notice - I am going to stop working there in mid-May, mostly because I have to close my bank account down 15 days before I actually leave, because I then have to come back and do some other thing. I don't quite understand it myself.

I think that's about it for now. Who knew I would be so productive today.

Tonight I am going to the Lapin Agile with Erin and her dad. I'm looking forward to it.

"Elle est bostonienne!"

Last night was the “event planning meeting” for our next event at the school where I work. Julia, Erin and myself are in charge… oh the irony. Our decided theme was Olympic Games, and we started to come up with activities. Our boss also tasked us with planning a team-building tutor meeting. Trust falls, anyone? Anyway, this meeting quickly deteriorated into “Inappropriate Story Time,” “Make Your Boss Cringe Time,” and “You Three Take Over Because I Don’t Want to Go Tonight Time.” Meaning that then Julia, Erin and I were left in charge of the English Department’s St Patrick’s Day celebration. So our boss gathered all the tutors, told them to give attendance to us at the end of the night, and sent everyone off in different directions. One group of people thought we were going to Mouffetard, but some guy who had supposedly “planned” the evening said we were going to Butte aux Cailles. I didn’t know where that was, so I trusted him when he said it was near Tolbiac and just a short walk from Porte d’Italie. I called Erin and Julia, who were stuck behind which large groups of lost French guys, and told them where to go. Half an hour later, we got there. It was not a particularly long walk from Tolbiac, and Tolbiac is not a particularly long walk from Porte d’Italie, but combined it was way too long a walk to try and make with 300 students and expect them to stay together. Oh well.

Once we got there everyone split up and went into different bars. I actually spent most of the night standing out on the street making sure people didn’t sneak away to Mouffetard, and just kind of pretending I knew what I was doing. At one point I also convinced a guy to give me his pizza. That was the highlight of the night. At ten, I gathered up as many attendance sheets as I could find, gave them to my boss who had randomly showed up, and booked it. Vaune and I walked back to Tolbiac and headed home. When I got home, I had this e-mail in my inbox:

Chère Mademoiselle ----------,

J'ai bien reçu votre lettre et les réponses au questionnaire. Votre candidature nous intéresse.
Je vous demande de bien vouloir m'envoyer un Curriculum Vitae. D'autre part il se trouve que madame D, la directrice de notre établissement part pour Paris ce jeudi et qu'elle souhaite vous rencontrer.

Seriez-vous libre les jours et heures suivants? :
Dimanche 23 mars avant le déjeuner ou à 18 h 30
Lundi 24 mars toute la journée
Mercredi 26 mars à 18h30

Je vous prie deme faire savoir vos possibilités. Ensuite monsieur R, notre directeur adjoint vous confirmera le rendez-vous et vous dira à quel endroit à Paris , madame D vous rencontrera.

Which means :

“Dear Ms. ----------,

I have receieved your letter and your responses to the questionnaire. Your application interests us. Please send me your CV. Moreover, it just so happens that Madame D, the director of the school is leaving for Paris this Thursday and she would like to meet you.”

The rest is just “Let us know when you’re free, etc etc etc.” The point is that even though I am not French, they still want to meet me, so that’s a good sign. I’m nervous though, because when I first read the email I thought it was next weekend, and now I look at it, it’s actually this weekend. So soon! I’m worried that my French isn’t good enough. We’ll see.

I also got a letter asking me to send thank you notes to the donors who made my scholarships possible. I didn't know I had received any scholarships. I have sent an email to the scholarship office. I still haven't heard anything. I'll keep you updated.

Today is Wednesday, which means I am exhausted. I woke up at 6:30, showered and dressed, booked it to Clignancourt for my eight AM class, skedaddled back to the FEU for some pasta (which was bad) and hot cocoa (which was good). Then I went to my 11:30 class at Reid Hall. Now I am back here, exhausted, eating a grilled cheese sandwich that tastes slightly of death thanks to whatever vague substance was burnt onto the stove. One more class to go (all the way over at Clignancourt). Then my crazy day is over.

Déjà vu

I'm sitting in the office of a foreign language department in an institute of higher education. My boss has gone out for coffee with a colleague and I have been left here to answer the phones. This feels extremely familiar.

Of course, the foreign language is English (not French) and the institute of higher education is a computer science school (not an American university). My boss is E, not Jeanny. And to be fair to Jeanny, she would only leave me alone for her classes and her lunch break. And I had to do a lot more when Jeanny was gone than answering the phone. Especially when she took the whole day off... Managing all of the stressed out people who come into the French department at Tulane needing Jeanny is not easy. Luckily I can delegate, and have memorized my lines: "Jeanny isn't here right now/today. She's at class/at lunch/out of town. She'll be back in a few minutes/in an hour/tomorrow. No, I cannot let you into her office." Ah, I miss it. I am oddly looking forward to my work-study next year - Jeanny said she'd take me back.

Anyway, my one student didn't show up for class today so now I am sitting in my boss's office, hoping he will come back from coffee having decided he doesn't have anything for me to do.

"Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

Just to keep you all updated on things that are happening:

-My neighbor Marc came back for a few days to take some exams and we hung out and it was awesome but now he's gone and my life is sadder for it :-(

-I've been starting to really enjoy some things that I used to hate. Most significantly: the city of Paris, and my job. Maybe more on that later.

-I have a Couchsurfer here from Australia. It's been a good time. Last night we watched Flight of the Conchords and compared Kiwi and Aussie accents and determined that the American English equivalent of the Australian word "bogan" is "white trash," although without all of the negative connotations. But maybe with some of them.

-My vacation week is over. All I did was work, but it was nice not to go to class. Class starts again today. Good times.

Okay well I have a little time before Méthodes et outils pour la linguistique française, so I'll write about why I'm starting to like my job. Maybe tomorrow I'll write about why I'm starting to like Paris - it's a little more complicated.

It's just that lately I've been having some really good classes. Even if some of the guys don't say anything or they whine and complain about every single aspect of the class, there are always some guys who start to get into it once you get them to talk. I've had a few classes recently where my students have been giving me positive feedback and it's really nice. A few weeks ago I had a Louvre class and only one guy showed up because they all had exams the next day, so it was just me and this guy and we went to the Louvre and it was a little awkward but I showed him my favorite parts and then we went and looked at the Napoleon III apartments which I hadn't seen yet, and we actually talked the whole time and I was pretty bored but it seems like he had a relatively good time, because afterwards when we were walking back to the Metro he was telling me how some of his teachers are just tired all the time (well so am I!) and don't talk and don't engage their students and that he won't sign up for those teachers' classes again but how this class was better because I actually engaged him. And that was nice.

Then last week I had a "fun" class where we just sat around and talked, and anyone who has ever sat around and talked with me knows that I can get very animated, and occasionally even amusing. By the end of the class my students were asking when my next class was and asking me to create classes at times when they are free to sign up for them. So I did! I made a poker class for this Friday, and they are going to teach me how to play poker (not for money!). So that was also pretty gratifying.

Finally, a few days ago, I had a reading class and, again, I got pretty animated and just had fun, and when I am having fun they start to have fun. That one was the best, because a few of the guys were just really getting into the conversation, and when it was time to go I told them that the class is over, and they were all saying things like, "Well, we don't have to go quite yet... We have some time..." Of course I didn't want to stay, so we all left, but still. Gratifying.

Last night we had a tutor meeting where our boss yells at us and we plan events. Except he's very pleased with us, and someone else is planning our St. Patrick's Day event. I volunteered to help plan the big end-of-the-year party and then Erin did, too. So that will be a lot of fun, too, I think. Afterwards a few of us went out for beers with our boss, which we charged to the school because obviously it was "un brainstorming." So all in all, things are going well with the job. My students like me, my boss likes me, and I like my paycheck. All is well.

Okay, I must to class. (No, I did not forget to write "go." I was doing that weird Shakespeare-esque way of saying you must go somewhere without using the "go." Because I'm that cool.)

P.S. I can't stop listening to KT Tunstall.

Stupid Fondation

The internet is out at the Fondation this morning - I am posting from work. I woke up at ten and the power was out. I needed to take a shower but of course it was pitch black in the showers. I did it anyway, and went back to my room. I started getting dressed and then the power came back on so I tried to blow-dry my hair. The power went out again while I was blow-drying, so then I was left with half-dry funky hair. Later it came on again and I was fine. Of course, somehow the administration of the Fondation still hasn't figured out that when the power goes out, the internet does, too, and you have to turn it back on. Whoo.

So anyway I came to work 45 minutes early and here I am, blogging from the English department of a computer science school.

Some letters I have written...

Dear RATP Tramway,

Please run more often than every 15 minutes during weekday afternoons. I rely on you. I do not like running to work wondering if you are going to be the reason I get fired. Also - I beat you to Porte d'Italie. Take that, sucker.

Dear Asinine French Men,

Yes, I am wearing a tank top. I know this seems weird to you since French people feel that it is necessary to wear 800 layers every day. But no, I am not cold. Stop shouting out stuff like, "J'ai froid pour vous!" and "Tu n'as pas froid habillée comme ça, Madame?!" Your leers are not appreciated (and I am not a Madame). If I were COLD I would put on the COAT that is HANGING OVER MY ARM. But I happen to have just run from Cité U to Porte d'Italie because the damn tram was too slow (see above). So I'm not cold. Leave me alone. Also - asking someone if they are cold is not even a remotely successful way to hit on them.

Dear My Students,

I am in charge. We are going to see the movie that I have chosen, and we are taking the route that I have chosen. Your ridiculous whining is not going to change that, so shut up. I have just run here and been shouted at by idiotic French men (see above). I am not in the mood for whiny children. Also - guy with the big hair: We are not on a date. Stop trying to make meaningful eye contact.

LOVE, BOBBIE.

Christ.

Yesterday was a long day.

Un petit message

Dear French Guys Who I Do Not Know,

Please stop being creepy stalkers.

Thanks.

Love,
B