Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Some letters I have written...

Dear RATP Tramway,

Please run more often than every 15 minutes during weekday afternoons. I rely on you. I do not like running to work wondering if you are going to be the reason I get fired. Also - I beat you to Porte d'Italie. Take that, sucker.

Dear Asinine French Men,

Yes, I am wearing a tank top. I know this seems weird to you since French people feel that it is necessary to wear 800 layers every day. But no, I am not cold. Stop shouting out stuff like, "J'ai froid pour vous!" and "Tu n'as pas froid habillée comme ça, Madame?!" Your leers are not appreciated (and I am not a Madame). If I were COLD I would put on the COAT that is HANGING OVER MY ARM. But I happen to have just run from Cité U to Porte d'Italie because the damn tram was too slow (see above). So I'm not cold. Leave me alone. Also - asking someone if they are cold is not even a remotely successful way to hit on them.

Dear My Students,


I am in charge. We are going to see the movie that I have chosen, and we are taking the route that I have chosen. Your ridiculous whining is not going to change that, so shut up. I have just run here and been shouted at by idiotic French men (see above). I am not in the mood for whiny children. Also - guy with the big hair: We are not on a date. Stop trying to make meaningful eye contact.

LOVE, BOBBIE.

Christ.

Yesterday was a long day.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

"Who Tommy? Ze Germans?" is from "Snatch".

Kris, Skint in Europe said...

I like the style :)